Sweet Nothings

Tonight, I was walking thru Smith's Marketplace and while I was walking in this guy who was like 6' 5" said/did/sang something funny so I laughed out loud and he looked my way. He walked over to me and I said," I love people who have a sense of humor." He was kind of staring at me in a soft, yet stunned sort of way. He extended his hand and asked me what my name was. I smiled, shook his hand and told him my name.

He just kind of gazed at me for another second, repeated my name and said very earnestly," You are soo pretty. If I wasn't gay, I'd so be chasing after you right now." I smiled and said, "Thank you, I will tell my husband that you said so." To which he responded," You be sure to do that " and of he walked with his partner into the camping section.

CRACK ME UP!! It SO made my night. Like seriously, I am on cloud nine. I understate not. I just had to record this incident for my ego and, oh yeah, my posterity.

Abstract. Change.

I am in the weirdest personal phase. I want to change everything. Home decor. Garden plants. My physical appearance. Just MORPH. Inwardly, I feel some evolution as well. I am not quite sure what this is. All I know is that I want it to be good. Better. Improved. Stronger. Wiser. Softer. More kind. More open to learning and growth. More humble, obedient, malleable, resilient and focused on the best things. A little smarter would be kind of nice too. That and mostly, I just want to be what the Lord wants me to be.

The good thing is that I still want my husband and children so if this is a vastly premature midlife crisis, I know that I am not going off the unfortunate and costly deep end. I feel like an observer within my own conscious and being. Kind of odd. Very interesting. Kind of good. I wonder where this is going. I am feeling sort of abstract yet defined in my foundation. Please tell me that someone out there has gone thru this. I am ok if I am alone in this but life has taught me that we are very seldom all alone. Thus my question. I will ponder over it while I go clean pee off the couch :)

Get 'er done vs. One step at a time: Self gets a talking to

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~Jennifer Yane

Dilemma. The title says it all. My hare paced sort of girly gal has got to learn her lesson. AND FAST. But I would be the one to say that ;) I am all about getting things done. Motivation. Productivity. Results. I see the end before I even begin. This has GOT TO STOP.

My brain has got to learn to decelerate and enjoy each step. I love to stop and smell the roses. You know what I mean, mosey along, stroll down the lane, smell the roses (or in my case identify them all) and just meander while soaking in the bliss...after the work is done.

The longer I have been a mother and the more children that have come along to call me mother, the more I have allowed myself to be shoved into hyper drive high gear. I just can't slow down because, if I do, I wouldn't get a single thing done and I would be even later at not getting that thang done than I normally am. This is a new line of thinking that has creeped up in the last year. It needs to be weeded out 'cause it is not working for me.

Do you feel my dilemma? Am I stressing you out? I am sorry. I know you didn't come here to get cozy with me in my own sinkhole. So now what, right? Welp. I am no expert. I am the one with the dilemma. However, I will share with you what I am learning and trying.

#1: When I feel like I am getting sucked into my whirling dervish, I need to recognize that I am like a car stuck in the mud spitting that dirty muck all over the poor stranded honeys trying to get it out of its marshy pit.

Answer #1 to dilemma: When stress levels rise, when distress appears, when tragedy strikes, too often we attempt to keep up the same frantic pace or even accelerate, thinking somehow that the more rushed our pace, the better off we will be.

It is said that any virtue when taken to an extreme can become a vice. Overscheduling (Note to self this does include overscheduling normal days at home) our days would certainly qualify for this. There comes a point where milestones can become millstones and ambitions, albatrosses around our necks.

What Is the Solution?

The wise understand and apply the lessons of tree rings and air turbulence. They resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life. They follow the advice “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ¹ In short, they focus on the things that matter most.

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

Answer #2: Listen to answer #1. Over and over and over and over and over and over again.

Answer #3: Give yourself DOUBLE THE TIME to get things done. Get real,Woman! You may think that you can get dinner done by 5pm when you start at 4pm but that only happens 2 times out of 7. Take a clue. Reality is a good thing. You may have been able to do it 5 yrs and 2 children ago but it ain't 5 years ago. Catch up with the times, Sis.

Give yourself more than 2 days to get that project done because between your mommy/wife/self stewardships you just need more time. Why stress yourself out by attempting, even HOPING, to get it done in a day. You are trying to create Rome and it wasn't built in a day. So get off your own back. Give yourself time, double the time, and use it stresslessly.

Answer #4: We already talked about slowing down right? Shall we talk about not doing 18 things at a time? You are burning your poor brains out kid. You are a woman, so I am not going to tell you to not multi-task. But I will ask you to limit your multitasking to 2 things at a time. Instant destresser and very conducive to reducing speed and you'll likely be more efficient. But since you are already stressing at being limited to 2 things let me free your mind and make it liberating 3. I can see you breathing easier already.

Now, I know you like long lists but you have enough answers. We are going for quality not quantity. Let's savor them and try them on for size, ok?

Let's recap. SLOW DOWN! Then reduce your speed a bit more for good measure. Yes, I am literally telling you that if you back off a bit you will be able to think more clearly. Resist the urge to be speed racer. Remember. The tortoise DID win the race. Why rush to the LOSER line when you can WIN by setting a steady, sure pace. You may never have had a speeding ticket but you deserve one for trying to think at the speed of light.

Next, give yourself more time. Double the time equals happiness overflowing. You will like it, I promise. Lastly, juggling 3 balls in the air is both sufficient and impressive enough. Feel free to be daring and just do two on days you are feeling daring.

Alright, lecture over. Mosey on to bed, now. Yes, you can put the clothes in the dryer before you go. Just do it SLOWER. Here are some quotes to inspire you. I know how you thrive by being inspired ;)

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.

~John De Paola

Releasing the pressure, it's good for the teapot and the water. Try it sometime.

~Jeb Dickerson, www.howtomatter.com

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

~Lily Tomlin

No one can get inner peace by pouncing on it.

~Harry Emerson Fosdick