Kindergarten Time

I have done it. I have sent my first born child to Kindergarten. I have to say that while it was pretty thrilling that this day has come--it was surprisingly anticlimatic. No tears from either one of us, no heartpounding moments of separation, no backward glances other than snapping a photo in my retreat--just a "I love you, Olivia! I will back to get you at 11:15!" I don't think we even hugged, she was too distracted trying to pick a table where she wanted to sit.

I will come back with her report of the day later on but I can't believe I have a kid in Kindergarten and at the same time it feels just like another day. First grade--if we choose not to homeschool that year--will be a bigger change since it will be all day. At this point, Kindergarten feels like preschool--just less than 3 hrs of learning and peer interaction for her and just less than 3 hrs of me trying to get some morning one on one time with Maia, Michaela napped and errands/morning chores done. ANYWAY--you don't care about what I do while she is away at school do you? You just want to see pictures, right? Be forewarned--Olivia really doesn't like to take pictures. She wasn't that cooperative so my photography is snapshotty at best. But we have the morning recorded in digital immortality nonetheless.

Behold, The Kindergartner

She actually smiled AT the camera--Woo Hoo!
Yes, Mom, I can read your mind--I know I should get some windex on the glass door behind her ;) *giggle*

Walking to her class

Independently opening that door--Baby!

Seated at the table with her new friend, Jenna.

The Path of Tender Mercies

Today I am happy.
Yesterday I was not.
I am learning more often than ever
The days of a mother are sometimes like that.
The girls were all crazy
And I was definitely all caught up in a tether.
I was literally feeling selfish, not wanting to serve and ill
I wanted the day the recover ALONE and on my own
But then the heavens parted and I was reminded that the Lord's tender merciful hand is, for me-- stretched out still.

I am not a poet but I felt a whack at it was in order. A very favorite person and dear friend of mine was a manifestation of the Lord's tender mercy to me this morning. After going visiting teaching we talked and visited like we always do. However, the fact of the matter was that as the day began I was hoping to not go visiting teaching. I put it to the back of my mind. My monday as a mother was a tiresome, somewhat manic one. We survived but it was discouraging to my maternal soul. My visiting teaching companion called to remind me that we had an appt.

Ok, now let me tell you quickly about this woman. She has six small children, 5 girls and a boy--ages 8 and under. I love to be around her. Her laugh is infectious and though it sounds corny, it buoys my heart to a place of contentment to see her do so. Talking to her about our roles and challenges as mothers makes me remember truths about motherhood that any evil force against this stewardship would have me forget. It is not necessarily about the absence of yelling or any other natural man tendencies we strive to overcome as parents but it is the presence of truth and purpose we bring to our homes and families.

This woman is just like all of us-sometimes she feels like yelling, pulling her hair out and run to the hills when the pressure of raising children gets too much BUT in the midst of it all--she uses the energy she has to purposely teaching her children good principles, the true gospel of Jesus Christ and sharing her love of the blessings in the world with them. AND she laughs--she laughs till she is tears. She experiences the joy that is her (as it is for all of us) purpose to experience in this life. I needed that this morning. I am sure glad the Lord was watching out for me and put Tara in my path to remind me of that when I wanted nothing more than to cross paths with noone today.

Oh and guess what? Today we are smiling and laughing. We are happy.

But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender ^cmercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of ^ddeliverance. (1 Nephi 1:20)

The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works (Psalms 154:9)

The Ancient Truth

There once was a brilliant and energetic little girl. She was a fast learner and she soaked in new experiences and knowledge. Sometimes she got frustrated when she didn't understand things right away but she remembered the special truth she held in her heart. It was an ancient truth. A truth learned by her sassy, stylish aunt in early childhood, passed down thru the 80s and 90s and into the new millenium from sister to mother to other siblings to her. The special truth was this.

"I am special as you can see
Because of my speciality
I can climb any mountain
I can swim any sea
'Cause I am special.

I am special as you can see
Because of my speciality
If I set my mind to it
I know I can do it
Because I AM SPECIAL!"

This reassuring truth assisted her thru many of her learning quests. It was there for her as she attempted her first button. It comforted her as she learned to push and balance herself on her scooter. It was there for her as she screwed her courage to the sticking point and braved the backyard where dreaded bumblebees and the beloved swingset resided. It bolstered her courage as she waved goodbye to her mom and walked to the edge of the pool for her first ever swimming lessons. Her mother had her repeat it over and over again to herself whenever her confidence waivered. Sometimes the girl loved this and other times it plain ticked her off and sent her further into waves of tumultuous woedom. The truth had obviously begun to take root and sprout when the growing girl decided that it was time for her to ride her bike on her own without training wheels after bike riding tutorials bestowed upon her by her loving father. She didn't need to say it out loud that day. She simply made a decision and did it. Success was the outcome. Today, that truth began to blossom when that lovely flower of girl put on her new tennis shoes. Shoes with laces--not velcro closures. Her gentle father sat down with her to teach her. The girl promptly showed her parents that she could do the first step. Make an "X", put one string thru the X's legs and pull tight. Her father reminded her of the next step. Our noble little girl watched. She repeated her father's actions and you know what? She tied her shoes all by herself. And then, she did the other one. All by herself.

As her mother, I wonder how this precious little truth assisted her confidence as she progressed passed another childhood milestone. I like to think that it positively influenced her. Mostly I just can't believe that my baby can READ, tie her shoes, ride her bike and begins Kindergarten NEXT WEEK. How in the world has life gone by so quickly? Only heaven knows. But we do know for sure that no matter what--we can climb any mountains, we can swim any sea because we are special!

Pictures coming as soon as I can find the blasted transfer cord. ;)

It is green but it is not "GREEN"

Comet, I mean. Dang that stuff works brilliantly!! I remember scrubbing the kids' bathroom with it growing up. I asked Sam to pick some up for me while he was at Costco. Thinking it'd be a HUGE two can pack for a buck or two. Well, it is a SIX pack of the largest tallest cans I have ever seen. So I have been using it all over the place and DUDE--my bathroom tubs, toilets, sinks and kitchen sink are SO shiny. AND they stay shiny in between cleanings.

I feel somewhat guilty for using it since I do like to use products that are organic and good for the earth but I will admit that all the baking soda and vinegar, Green Works and Simple Green haven't made my bathtub this sparkly before. I wonder if AJAX is more environmentally sound. Until then--I have 5.5 cans of Comet to use. Sorry Mother Earth, I sure did try.

Feel the Burn, Mommy!

I'm feeling the burn--that's right. I've been working hard and I can feel the fatigue deep in my mommy muscles. So when you are feeling like you can't do one more lunge, tricep press or leg lift--what do you do? You breathe. You take in a good, replenishing breath of air so you can finish your reps. You allow that muscle to go numb and YOU DON'T STOP. Muscles become stronger when you push them to failure. A few years ago right before I got pregnant with Maia, I was taking a weight lifting class. I had been taking the class for a couple years. This new teacher challenged us to lift more weight and to go to utter failure--to perform rep after rep until we could no longer do any more with good form and that muscle group was healthfully done in. You know what happened? I had some dang good looking muscles. I was strong, confident and capable. I felt it and it translated into my life. So you may think I am again alluding to my current quest to getting back into shape after giving birth just 9 months ago--but I am not. It's all about motherhood. Being a mother to three has pushed me to failure as I am exercise these new matriarchal muscles I didn't know existed.

I am finding that in my search to create a nourishing, orderly and peaceful environment in my home that I am forced to oppose the alter egos of these goals. The alter ego of nourishment is emptiness and fluff. Nourishment takes purpose and effort--not hours of effort but it requires focus attention and purpose if even for a short five minutes. I often wonder how much time I spend on fluff--a seemingly beautiful and tempting something that has no real meaning, substance or sustenance. I need to remember that as I feel tired and want to reach for a cookie--instead of a well balanced snack that will take 2 minutes more to prepare and one that will fill me. It also means reaching for my scriptures to ponder over instead of sitting on the computer for wasteful and distractory periods of time.

The opposite of order is, of course, chaos. Not to be confused with movement and energy. A home with small children is full of motion, EMOTION (my home especially) and a great deal of vitality. Will I ever be able to find matching socks? Maybe not all the time but this is what cute sparkly sandals and furry snowboots will conceal for me, right? But creating order is a journey, it is a process--my children will eventually put their clothes away (and not on the floor) at least 60% of the time if I stick with the long process of teaching and reminding them--right? I just need not let any of my restless or negative emotions about this repetitive chore of my stewardship add chaos to my experience. I also should stop and remember that a toys on the floor isn't chaos--is it a chance to teach, serve or.... declutter. All of which add to order--not take away from.

Peace. Be still my sweet soul, there is peace to be had. I have a decorative tile that says, "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Amen to this. My peace is found with being gratefully ok with the challenging blessings I have. My children and my opportunity to stay at home and rear them is hard work. My motherly muscles get weary and get pushed to failure more times that I wish they would but all of that means that I am getting stronger and I need to allow myself to take on the strength that comes with that. My peace is found in knowing that the Lord always helps me when I ask and many times when I don't. If I am willing to be ok with me, as a daughter of God with incredible potential, who can do all things thru Christ who strengtheneth me--there will be peace. Peace in the midst of tantrums, sasses, smiles and giggles--peace in knowing I can pick up the mess and bring myself peace that way. Or peace in knowing I can just step over the mess and do something that will energize and reboot my fatigued (but tightening) mommy muscles like a deep cleansing breath would in a weight lifting class.

I definitely don't have the answers but putting my perspective in writing helps me figure out what areas I can focus on and it helps me see that even though I may be tired, I am really ok. You know that feeling of peace and satisfaction that comes after a hard workout? How proud you feel of yourself that you did it? That you can do much more than you think? How proud you feel of your body and spirit for carrying you thru a challenge--to know that you survive the burn. Well, thus is my experience in motherhood anyway--feel the burn, mommy--don't resist it or fight it. If we push thru and finish the very repetitious weight lifting of motherhood--we'll be proud to realize that we are made out of some pretty stern stuff and we'll have some pretty ripped hot momma muscles to boot.

For me, I am realizing it is time for me to expect the burn, to push thru it, to take time to breathe and replenish my maternal muscles REGULARLY and to be proud of myself after each mommy training session with my girls that pushes me to my limit. And how comforting it is to know that going to failure in this sense is only making me stronger--it is progress, endurance and capability brought on by pressure, resistance and weight. It isn't failure at all.

Dazzling Day

Fourth of July reminds me of glorious childhood at its best. Splashing in the pool with my cousins all day, eating Pa Pa's famous homemade vanilla ice cream and barbecue ribs. There was the time we had a crawfish boil, in addition to that mouth watering bbq, and observing those poor crawdads crawling out of their styrofoam prison trying to pardon themselves from being boiled alive in Zataran's Crawfish Boil was unforgettable. I remember cuddling securely in the lap of a favorite family friend, Kathy, all wet and tanned to dark chocolate perfection while watching fireworks rain down on us. The sounds of my family singing our firework song while my father and uncles set off the firecrackers in the street will forever shoot tearful feelings of elation and wonder into my soul at the memory.



Now I am 30, happily married to an incredible man, with 3 beautiful daughters and the beloved family of my childhood live 3 states away but I never cease to be excited about 4th of July. For the second year in a row, Sam and I have continued to create dazzling memories of this blessed holiday with our children. We had a Family Home Evening earlier in the week about patriotism and we learned about the flag and its history and importance. It is fun to hear Olivia call the flag by many of it's nicknames every time we see one and to hear Maia sing "You're a Grande Ole Flag" complete with the hand gestures we created.

On the day, we woke up early at 6:30am and met with a favorite family of ours to watch the hot, air balloons rise over the valley at a local park. We ate donuts, yogurt and juice. The kids had a great time socializing and we mommies and daddies had a great time being childlike and promptly got nauseous from rolling down a hill with bellies full of those oh so healthy donuts and yogurt. Sara told me she was nauseous for most of the day, a little polka kielbasa sausage helped my stomach get over said ailment by noon.


The best picture I got of Sara that morning..she is going to love me for posting this one.
LOVE YA --Sara! ;)

Then we packed our van with cold drinks and strollers and went to the Freedom Festival--a 4th of July fair/celebration. This is my new favorite thing to do on 4th of July with our family. We have a great time doing crafts at the Children's Tent, Sam and Olivia climbed a rock wall, watching a cool reptile show and get all hot, wet and sticky, while trying to cool off with snowcones and frozen water bottles.

Later on, Kaylee, Jarom and their new son, Elijah came over for dinner. We made shishkaboobs, hamburgers and hot dogs.

We brought back the spark in our lives by doing sparklers in the backyard.

Don't they just make you scared and smile all in the same moment?

They can make hornets terrified if they dare to take up residence in your swingset and bite your eldest daughter too.

After that Sam and I got wild and started doing cartwheels and roundoffs in the backyard--I told you that 4th of July brings out my inner child, right?

Thankfully, Olivia thought I was cool, instead of crazy.

We put the girls to bed, cleaned up a bit and waited for the fireworks to begin. We could see alot from our neighbors yard. She welcomed us over to watch them and give the chance to take my first ever shots of fireworks. We woke the girls up and they watched with us. All in all--it was a dazzling day. The things I hope my daughter's best childhood memories will be made of.

Remiss

I should be surprised that I haven't written anything in 3 months but I am not. I am just as sporadic in my hard copy journaling as I am in the online account. There have been many blogs that I have written in my mind this summer. One about 4th of July, one about the day I had patience with my girlies, one about our first ever family vacation, about crawling and the onset of baby standing balance--Michaela really is the most delectable baby, one about the evening my sister and I went to Walmart at midnight to get Breaking Dawn, one about my doula adventures, a recent acquirement (is that a word?) of useful life knowledge and so forth. BUT I haven't written anything. My goal is to recount as many of these summer moments as possible but with our very first experience with Kindergarten coming in 16 days, my yearly mommy learning jaunt to Education week coming in 8 days and numerous things in between and beyond--Maia will be 3 years old in 3 weeks--it will be a wonder if I get to it all.

However--I have not written down what it is I want to record. I have simply listed a few of my favorite moments. Perhaps it will motivate me to get on with recounting our wonderful summer. If not, at least you have the chance to call me a slacker and know that we are well.

One would say that I should have just written down one experience in the time that it took to write this one--that one would be wise. I could even just pick one to recount at this moment--but I really did want to clean out my refrigerator today. And now seems like a great time to do that ;)