What I've learned

The ever hopeful Pollyanna in loves a new day, a new beginning, a new week or new opportunity. I am in the middle of reading a sequel to a romance novel written by my amazing seminary teacher from the good ole day of high school and early morning seminary so I am not wanting to make a long post but my loquaciousness is already starting to kick in. ;)

All I really want to say is that I learned that there is always hope; that I can do things I never thought possible and I have find peace and joy in them as I rely on my Savior to carry me thru it all.

This year has been about doing things I never thought I'd do in the face of good and not so good. It has inspired me to spread my wings and not limit myself or abilities by my fear of not thinking I can.

I am gaining more and more comfort and strength in the knowledge that I am not my mistakes. That my mistakes give me the opportunity to become who my Father in Heaven knows I can become--who I am already--only unrealized. There is power in being ok with myself even in my desire to become better or change. I have to remember that I can do anything I think I can do. The little train that could sure did know what he was talking about. It is all about simplifying too. There is so much peace that comes from

I am interested to see how the year to come will be influenced by my desire to kind of dive into things that I never thought I could do. Maybe I will realize a talent in art, carpentry, sewing, using essential oils and gain landscaping skills. Maybe I will become the mother of 5. Maybe I will increase in homeschooling prowess. Maybe we will get closer in reading the Book of Mormon as a family. Maybe I will be a source of calm for the child-like calamity that accompanies my deliciously sweet and good daughters. Hopefully we will remain healthy, employed safe and have a mind to love and serve others.

Whatever comes, may we remember the Lord in all things and know that we can do all things thru Him who strengthens us and never forget whose we are and what power we have because of that knowledge.

3 days before Christmas: A Mother's Conclusion

I've been thinking. I have come to a conclusion for myself that, although it is a useful idea and true to life in many cases, I am going to stop holding the "you better be good or Santa won't give you presents" idea over my kids' heads. It doesn't work and it just makes me plain frustrated.

That said, that doesn't mean that I no longer require the best behavior they can give me. I can still catch them being good, we are still going to work on serving, giving to and loving each other and others as Santa does because he is emulating the Savior.

I think I am going to start promoting a greater effort at treating one another as the Savior does. That is what I most want from my kids ultimately anyway. We have done two activities throughout this month that have helped us feel the Spirit of Christmas more even amidst the fussy, crabby and tempermental garden variety kid behavior. I want to promote good behavior and peaceful feelings that come from doing good--doing this increases the quality of the good that we have within us and we usually want more and more of it as a result.

When it comes to gift giving, I give them presents because I want to give them presents. Just like the Lord gives me blessings even if I haven't fully been as good as I ought to have been. I do strive to give Him my best and He accepts it. Gnarly, ugly bits and all but I think He especially appreciate the developing bits. He doesn't care that I only have a sprouted bit of potential to offer. He knows how tremendous I will be if I continue to grow and cultivate my potential, especially with His help. It takes time to grow and become better and He knows that. He doesn't yell at me to grow faster--right now! I need to make sure that I am patient enough to allow that kind of quality and strong growth in my kids.

Learning to listen and obey is a lifelong practice. I'm still learning and becoming better at it. It is a behavior that I want my children to develop and seek after as well. I teach them this ultimately because it gives them practice to learn to listen, truly hearken to and obey the Lord. This is true for His prophets and apostles as well. When we learn to obey his servants, we are learning of Him; learning of His commandments, learning to become more and more like Him. That is why obedience is so key in not only their lives but mine as well.

With that, I still have my "Caught being good" chart on the wall. The girls love the positive reinforcement from being caught in the act of doing some good and kind thing. And it is an important practice for me to seek it out as well. However, I will still discipline them as needed. I will even consult with Santa as to the best ideas for his presents to them ( ie. perhaps the girls will get a group gift from Santa in the hopes that it will encourage and promote sharing and playing kindly together)...cause Santa still knows how they've been when it comes to niceness and naughtiness. Who knows, right?

All I know is that the days of dangling their behavior over their heads is over. God doesn't do that with me. So I don't want to do that with them. I am all for earning and consequences. We do earn blessings thru our faithfulness. And faithfulness doesn't require perfection. Just our best. Likewise, we all know that if you actually do what your Mom says every day and clean your room then she will be much more likely to give you that present you love (but she thinks is doggedly annoying) because you've proven that you can and will take care of said toy.

However, if a kid simply can't take care of the toys they have then maybe they aren't ready for the 1000 piece princess dress up kit. Perhaps this year, you need the discover the world of Anne of Green Gables or crazy awesome socks. Surely you moms out there are picking up what I am putting down, right?

With that, I am done. I have been dreaming of making snowglobes and snowflakes with the girls so I better get at it. First..a shower...a shower must come first. ;) Merry Christmas Ya'll. I hope you have found and are enjoying the Spirit of Christmas. I hope you are feeling a bit (or alot) of that child-like excitement the increases as the big day approaches.

I am so grateful to Mary. What a faith-filled Mother. And to Joseph, what a humble good Man. I wonder if I am doing right by my good little girls every day, I can only imagine what they felt knowing their stewardship to protect, teach and nurture the Savior of the World. Would I have second guessed my ability to appropriately fulfill this extraordinary earthly mission? Would I have been as meek, faithful and gentle as she? Would I have complained to have to travel on a donkey during the last days or weeks of my first pregnancy? Would I have been scared or resentful to give birth in a stable? Would I have been overprotective or bothered by strange men wanting to see my sweet newborn baby right after I gave birth? Would I have chosen faithful, selfless actions instead of doubt, uncertainty and fear over and over and over again?

What tremendous examples. I am so thankful for the celebration of Christ's birth. Christmas does have a feeling like no other time of the year. May we allow it to fill and nurture the best and most pure within us and renew our hope as we move forward into a new year.

Merry Christmas !!!

Swirling. Consistency. Balance. Growth.

I've had lots of thoughts swirling thru my head and as I've strived to find balance and wisdom in them I've had this thought come to my mind.

"Take good care of yourself. Nurture and cultivate the goodness and richness that is you. To do this doesn't require great means but it does require consistency to achieve optimal results. Do this regularly but never to the point that it excludes you from giving, serving and loving others."

Other things, whatever they may be, cannot "fill in" for self-nurture, especially over long periods of time. Nor should it take a back seat to other things are that seemingly much more important. Getting distracted from this, especially in times of transition, has the opposite effect than what we initially think it will. The time to self-sustain need not be long or elaborate but it must be regular.

Remember. No "fill-ins" or broad spectrum pseudo fixes accepted. There are seasons when other care takers come into our own personal gardens and do beneficial weeding, pruning or mulching but the composting, fertilizing and, specifically, grafting needs to be left to the Master Gardener. He knows the composition of our soil and what amendments and specialized treatment we require.

I could go on but I don't think I will. All I know is that I need to be better at just "taking" more for myself. I think I can be a Martha when it comes to just not doing for myself and sacrificing things that I really don't need to sacrifice. Sacrifice for sacrifice's sake isn't always prudent or needful. Sometimes, it is detrimental. I think this is a common "mist of darkness" that the adversary can use against those who are striving to do and be their best. The balance comes when we tend to ourselves in a kind and careful way and are mindful to not let that exclude that kind of tending from others.

We can take care of ourselves and then let that magnify that which we have to give. I have always known and believed in this as long as I can remember. It was a take home, better yet, a take out message my mother imparted thru her actions. BUT I think I missed an important checkpoint in getting from Point A to Point B. Inappropriate sacrificing can derail me in gleaning the benefits of that all important loving and caring philosophy.

I am beginning to think or realize that life is all about swirling about. Not really being in any type of real control. Just a series of (hopefully) connecting the spiritual dots thru our experiences and being secured to the One who gives us an anchoring steadiness while the opposite lies in wait.

Perhaps life is about having roots and wings. Remember that poem?

If I had two wishes, I know what they would be

I'd wish for Roots to cling to, and Wings to set me free;

Roots of inner values, like rings within a tree,

and Wings of independence to seek my destiny.

Roots to hold forever to keep me safe and strong,

To let me know you love me, when I've done something wrong;

To show me by example, and helps me learn to choose,

To take those actions every day to win instead of lose.

Just be there when I need you, to tell me it's all right,

To face my fear of falling when I test my wings in flight;

Don't make my life too easy, it's better if I try,

And fail and get back up myself, so I can learn to fly.

If I had two wishes, and two were all I had,

And they could just be granted, by my Mom and Dad;

I wouldn't ask for money or any store-bought things.

The greatest gifts I'd ask for are simply Roots and Wings.

By Denis Waitley

Perhaps life is about learning how to properly nurture our roots while learning to extend, stretch and use our wings--without pulling up needful, nourishing grounding tethers. Without them we'd swirl away at the whim of any gusty breeze. However, because of them we learn to stand majestically tall as we face the Sun anchored in goodness. All the while we can learn to rise, to ascend even, relying on the Sun and a flux in the air to help us remain aloft.

Maybe, anyway, just maybe.