Answering the Right Questions

If I am being real (and I find great comfort in woman to woman "realness"), I would have to say that I have felt like I am clawing my way up a mountain without using proper gear and wits to get up the mountain in a less arduous, "dirt in your nails" sort of way. This reminds me of a fun college memory. I was going on a date. It was going to be fun, group outing and the guys were planning it. They didn't tell us where we were going nor what we should wear. So, my roommate and I got our girlinesses all gussied up and the guys arrived. They told us to put on different shoes. Did your sense of intrigue just peak and a looming sense of  "uh oh" enter your gut? The same happened to us. It was just before sunset. The guys had gotten us all Happy Meals and we headed toward the "Y".

I was a sophmore at BYU at this point and had never hiked the "Y". (Shh, I have lived in Utah for 16 yrs and have yet to do it still.) They parked. We got out. I could see the "Y" right above my head but I saw no trail at least not in the direction we went. I don't know whose idea this was but the guys were so nice so I went along with it but THERE WAS NO TRAIL. Just dirt and rocks and a steep incline. To get up, I had to CLAW my fingers into the dirt and grip and grapple over boulders. It started to drizzle. I am a Afro-Turkish Native American girl with black girl hair. Drizzle + black girl hair = a frizzy, drowned rat sort of coiffure. And no matter the language you say it in, it results in unlikely beauty.


I don't know how long we went. The sun had  just set. The sparkle of the Provo night scene began to illuminate the post twilight sky behind our backs and my hair was a frizzified puffball but I was bound and determined to be tough and charming because the guys were really just so sweet and nice. Someone suggested we stop and sit on this big boulder. The guys had planned a super cool date in theory. Hike the "Y" and eat Happy Meals by the grandeur of the day's resplendent end. However, our timing was off and we failed to use the trail to get us to our journey's end so as to avoid dirt in our nails and arrive in time for sunset.

Back to my being real,  I think I ,somehow, got off  my mommy trail (it was probably to take a nap or maybe go potty by myself uninterrupted) and have found myself clawing my way up my mothering mountain. I know I talk alot about mothering but hey that is what I do...ALL THE TIME...especially since I homeschool. Now, I know that what I am doing for my family is significant and I know I am doing the right thing for us in the homeschooling arena BUT I have been increasingly asking and searching for certain "Y's".

"Y" am I doing what I am doing?
"Y" is this or isn't this working for me?
"Y" is my joy quotient running dangerously low?
"Y" am I feeling less and less like the real me?


For me, it is becoming more about answering the right questions, I think. I came across a question in an article titled The Beauty of Doing What Can Only Be Done Now on the Power of Mom's website.It really struck me.  It was this,



“Before I can be ready for more, what do I need to learn to do well?”

The author then went on to say that she made a list of about 20 habits and skills that could develop in harmony with her current responsibilities and family situation. And then she started working on them.

So, at the end of her article she asked, 

"QUESTION: What, in your life, can only be done right now?
CHALLENGE: Identify 10 habits and skills that would benefit your whole family if you were to focus on them right now.  Then make those habits and skills a central part of your life."

That article then linked to another. 
Which then asked another question.
 

QUESTION: Are you getting what YOU need out of motherhood? What do you enjoy doing the most with your children? Are you doing what you enjoy as much as you can and should?
CHALLENGE: Decide on one thing you will do (or NOT do) to create more space for really enjoying motherhood this week.

These are the right questions for me to begin to ask myself and a jumping off place for me to sharpen my saw and find the right answers to the right questions. I'd be unreal if I said that I get tired just thinking about the activational energy it will take for me to be diligent in even answering one of these questions. But, I KNOW it is better than clawing my way up the side of a mountain :)