Today was a emotional sort of patchy day. I wasn't the best kind of mom or wife. I tried. There were good moments. I did tell the kids the story of Christopher Columbus at the dinner table and I shined in that motherly moment, if I do say so myself. I gave them my heart and my enthusiasm in those moments. I forgot that there were boxes to be unpacked and dinner dishes to wash. It didn't matter that I was 4 minutes late to pick up my Kindergartener when I read her that story at bed. Somehow the day ended better as I cuddled with my handsome husband on the couch and watched "Good Eats". The shutters arrived today and Sam did do a great job at putting them up. It was almost surreal to stay up after everyone else was asleep and soak in the quiet I was desperate for just 5 hrs ago. Who knew I wanted to pull the hair from my head at certain moments as I let loose and danced to the song "Footloose" in the dark family room in the glow of the computer and TV.
Tomorrow, I will try very hard to not care that I have a literal mountain of laundry lurking in the bottom of the linen closet and I will smile and play with my children. Today, I kissed Olivia's cheek as I buttoned up her coat and sent her running off to Kindergarten late and the tender softness of her cheek was soothing to my somewhat stressed lips and soul. Tonight, she was radiant in her Little Einsteins pjs as I told her how lovely she was and her honey eyes just sparkled at me and in that moment she forgot that I lost my patience with her for asking me her millions of endless questions. Tomorrow, I will turn the music on in the morning and dance with my little princesses. We will roll on the floor together and play "Break the Ice", we'll practice walking with Michaela. Today, that yummy baby is 11 mos old. Somehow I am sure I will likely feel like pulling my hair out tomorrow but I will remember this day only happens once and I will try harder to keep my voice kind and my daughters just might do the same in return.
Tomorrow maybe Maia will poop on the potty. Tomorrow maybe I will go to bed with a clean kitchen at my back. Tonight, I will not. But I will remember to smile at my dirty kitchen and be glad that I have one of my own for the first time ever in my life. Tomorrow maybe I will wake up just early enough to honor my body and do some pilates after I honor my spirit by reading my scriptures. Today was hard and tomorrow will require plenty of work and energy but tomorrow I will be more joyful as I do it because today I am deciding to do so.
7 comments:
Just what I needed to read to start off my morning!! Love ya girl. Off to dress my kids for school :)
I love reading your blog. I can just hear you talking, and it is such a soothing sound. You keep it real too, and that is great.
YOU ARE SO AMAZING. I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND THEN SPENT THE NEXT 2 HOURS READING YOUR BLOGS FROM 2006 TO NOW. SAM AND YOUR 3 GIRLS ARE SO BLESSED TO HAVE YOU IN THEIR LIVES. I AM A BETTER PERSON FOR KNOWING YOU!! YOU ARE TOTALLY ON THE RIGHT TRACK.
You always give me 2 things:
1) Guilt :o)
2) A lot to think about
Thanks for both.
You're words inspire me to do just what you write. You speak from your soul and you really describe motherhood perfectly. I sure do love you!
-Jessica
You have left a whole in Provo, in our ward, in the Relief Society and in my heart. I miss you!
You never cease to amaze me. I respect you so much, and look up to you too (which is saying something, you cute TINY woman!)
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