I have this friend named Sarah. She is a midwife and a wise, resilient, sincere friend. A few weeks back when I asked her how she knew I wouldn't suck as a doula. She told me that I was what they needed, not all my fancy skills or knowledge (not that they are all that fancy or extensive..lol) But I am finding she was right, however my journey is just beginning. But the first mom I was a doula had her baby a little over a week ago and I learned that lesson that Sarah told me, that I was what she and her family needed.
She did beautifully with her Hypnobabies and didn't need me much at all when I expected her to need me but there were times whereI was with her for about 7 hrs in the first time she went into labor and Sarah's admonition rang true. After that first time with her family where I took care of them, served her childrenin addition to the mother and the father. And when I came back for the real deal, the kids remembered me and welcomed me like a family member and I knew that in that moment I was supposed to be there.
My second mom went into prelabor this morning, I have been worrying about being a doula in a hospital, my first was a homebirth with the midwife that delivered my second daughter. Ironically, I had been prompted to lay out my clothes and pack my bag last night and when they called at 4:30 this morning I was ready. Again ironically, we were sent home (although those hours of labor turned her posterior baby so they were very significant and productive) but again I knew I was where I was supposed to be. I was needed because of who I am, not because of a class I took.
So, I am learning alot in this process. I have kind've been nervous and on edge about being a doula but the Lord is gently preparing me and teaching me things about myself in this stage of my life that are so important for me to know. I am where I am, as a mother, a wife, a doula, a sister, a daughter and so forth for a reason and I need to remember only to be who I am. To be true to it, to stand in my majesty always. I have struggled so much lately as I feel like I am relearning how to be a mother to my almost 4 year old. She has been challenging me almost to my detriment,at least that is how I feel sometimes, but I am trying to absorb the fact that if I am supposed to be with these women and men while they bring their children into the world then I am supposed to be with this daughter of mine because of who I am also. I just have to hold on fast to this realization. I believe this is extremely important for me to soak in and own. in. I still have processing to do but anyway....
I just wanted to thank that wise and kind Sarah for her words, they are becoming a significant part of me.
3 comments:
I'm so touched and honored. The words I gave you were words given to me by many wise midwives who came before. I had never thought about them in my parenting. The realization that my children don't need my "skills" freshly learned in Parenting class...they just need ME. What a beautiful truth, you know? I honor you in your journey, both as a doula and as a mother. You ARE majestic. The words "Stand in your majesty, Sarah" have been my guiding beacon for over a year now. I am ever grateful for them, and for you.
beautiful and so totally true...i don't think #1's birth would've been as amazing as it was had you not been there...you are wonderful, don't ever forget it...and most importantly you're a great mommy, if it were easy it wouldn't be nearly as rewarding!
WOW! Tisha! I can't believe that you have become a doula!!!! Good for you! This is fantastic! I don't know anyone who would be better at this than you! You are for sure supposed to do this and I know that you are such a blessing to these families you have been helping! VERY COOL!!!!
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