IMAGINE

Who is in charge? That would be me . I don't care if you kick, scream, flail. I am in charge. You might wonder what I am talking about but if you are a mother you know EXACTLY what I am talking about. I think I might have mentioned how my darling, tiny little Maia is using this time in her life to express herself. She is almost 3 ,you know, and you are likely to also know that the age of 3 is when kids get very, uh, entertaining--to say the least.

So today we went to the library. We made it on time, things were going swimmingly. Olivia was in her separate storytime class. Maia and Mika were with me in circle storytime. Maia began to complain that she was hungry and go thru my bag. We don't eat in the library so I had no snacks. She had, unfortunately, left a very nourishing and delicious breakfast of apple cinnamon steel cut oats and turkey bacon mostly untouched at home. I explained that we'd have a yummy snack when we got home. She got it, she accepted it but I don't think her blood sugar was copasetic with the whole idea. You see, she held it together as long as she could but by the time both storytimes were over, despite the fact that I let her play on the computer for a bit to distract and abate her--she lost it. COMPLETELY. WILDLY. IRRATIONALLY. LOUDLY. PROFUSELY.EXPLOSIVELY. I think that is enough adverbs. You must get the idea. If not, let me set the picture better.

Imagine yourself in a library, filled with mothers and children after storytime. Imagine having your 5 month old in a sling attached to your body, your 5 yr old walking obediently next you and your 2.5 yr old completely out of control. You, lovingly, pick up her by her arm and almost trip over her. You, calmly, tell her that she gets nothing when she cries. With complete composure, you pick out "The Book of Virtues for Young Children" (don't you love irony?) -- what you are looking for and make your way to the "hold" section. Your screaming child refuses to follow.

So you put her over your shoulder softly, you smile into all the kind, knowing motherly faces and head to the "hold" section. You place said 2.5 yr old down. She kicks and rolls all over the floor. You get "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" for your 5 yr old. She has been waiting for about 10 days for it to come in. Your 2.5 yr old is still throwing the best temper tantrum you have EVER seen, complete with EAR SPLITTING SCREAMS (in the adult section of the library no less), huge crocodile tears, proceeds to roll all over the ground while ignoring nice passers by who ask her what is wrong. Even a kind 4yr old comes over and gives her a gentle pat on the hand. You walk away 15ft to the self check out. That computer is down. You walk back and claim her when a librarian you know is asking her above question. You walk to another checkout, you can't see her but you can hear her--very well. And she saw where you went.

Your 5 yr old is worried and agitated that you are going to leave her loud, but beloved, little sister. You explain that it is ok. She sasses back to you and you firmly tell her to not talk to you that way. You check out your books--still ignoring the world class act of a tantrum 20 ft away. You walk back to your tantrumer, telling the ppl looking at her that she is yours. One kind mother, who has teenagers, smiles amusedly at you and tells you that it is ok, that she's been there. You tell your 2.5 yr old to come along--that you are leaving now and you walk away.

Another wise mother walks past you, looks you affirmingly in the face and says," You are handling this perfectly". You say thank you twice and still unruffled, even more boosted by the encouraging comments, you beckon to your still wailing little one and walk away.

Your 5 yr old is now upset. She is convinced you are abandoning her sisterly playmate. You tell her that you would never leave her sibling that her sister will follow. She stubbornly retorts that she won't. You remind her to speak in a kind voice to her mother and to watch her sister follow. She does. At this point you are pretty surprised at how unbothered you are, how humorous this is, how thankful you are by the support of strangers and that your kid is following despite her howling the whole time. Another mother smiles and says, "We've all been here...so fun!"

You get to your van. You remind the 2.5 yr old that it is her turn to unlock the car. She does it thru her cries that are a tad more muted now because 10 straight, hardcore minutes of screaming her head off must be exhausting. But she regroups and rededicates herself to complaining and yelling to let her out when you, unemotionally, buckle her carseat.

You make it home. You tell her to finish her tantrum in bed because she is obviously too tired to show her good behavior. She quiets down, she apologizes (upon your request) for screaming and tantruming in the library and at home. She, then, commences to be a sweetheart for the rest of the day. In fact, this is the first time in 9 days that she gone down for a nap easily and without a fuss on her part or frustration and anger on yours.

IMAGINE THAT.

Now, imagine how good you feel knowing that you were obviously attended by angels, both seen and unseen, as you experienced all this.

Imagine how good you will feel tonight as you put your head to pillow knowing that you kept your composure, didn't compromise your parenting values to save face in public and knowing that even when your gorgeous teensy snippet of a sweet, yet determined, spirit of a daughter does this again that you know that you have developed some extremely useful skills at handling your 3 children in public. And now you have more skills at keeping your fire breathing dragon mommy alter ego in check and now you have one more reason to look yourself in the mirror in the morning and say to yourself ," You can do this, you are a good mother."

Isn't amazing how a potentially nightmare of experience can help us truly love and enjoy the moments of motherhood? I, literally, felt joy and contentment--no embarrassment, guilt or shame at my 2.5 yr old throwing a doozy of a temper tantrum in front of a hundred women, men and small children. In fact, I am almost wanting it to happen again. Ignoring her tantrum was surprisingly fun and satifying. Too bad, I didn't have a camera with me. That would have been great to document and add here. But that would've left less to the imagination now wouldn't it?.



But just for fun and in case you are a visual person, here is a fuzzy picture (so you can imagine your own sweet, unhappy little one) of my sweet, unhappy Maia from a few months back.