Transition

I have been somewhat fighting what everyone says that the transition to three is the hardest. The transition to two was most difficult thus far because Olivia turned three right after Maia was born and we all know that age three is just, well...it the least fun age I have encountered thus far in my young life of motherhood. It had alot to do with the fact that I didn't know what to expect from a three year old and it was a surprising splash of water in the face.

This transition to three is so amazing because it is incredible to see our family grow, see the girls' personalities emerge and expand but handling these wild butterflies is sometimes like trying to keep the sun from rising every morning. So I am going to say it. It is the most challenging transition. Going to two was my personal hardest but this is the most challenging. Now I have said it, it is out there. Phew! Wait, hold on, that doesn't make me feel better AT ALL.

So it is all about stepping up to what feels like an impossibility and boldly humble myself to allowing this challenge to make me--not break me. This is all very similar to transition in labor. Once a woman hits transition while she is in labor, most hit an emotional milestone when they realize that they no longer want to do what it takes to bring the baby into the world. She'd rather stay pregnant forever. She feels and often vocalizes that "she can't do this anymore". But the beautiful thing to behold, as a doula, is that even though she is saying she can't do it...she is actually DOING it in that moment. She is literally doing what she feels she can't do, she is in a transitional transformation.

There is a quote that says " The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives the hurt." There is another that says "Top results are reached only through pain. But eventually you like this pain. You'll find the more difficulties you have on the way, the more you will enjoy your success."

Challenges are hard because we have to put forth more effort, strength, heart and endurance than we may realize we already possess. Challenge can bring to the surface the greatness we have within us. I think it is, at that point, where the dreaded transition has the potential to be transformative. In Hypnobabies, a self-hypnosis childbirth preparation course, they use the word transformation instead of transition-mainly because of how women may be programmed to fear that stage in labor. But the word transformation is a powerful and inspiring one. Reworking childbirth and labor words was never needful to me until I heard of Hypnobabies reframing this. And it worked for me. I needed it to be reframed and instead of it being this daunting emotional stage of doubt, it became the point where I had the opportunity to become, to learn that I could do things that were challenging, then to own it and really soak it in.

So, here I sit. I'm sleepy, the house didn't get much tidying on this Monday, I haven't started dinner--nor do I want to, I have a 2yr old wriggling all over my lap whose emotions are tittering on happy and hysterical post her nap, I have FHE to plan, kids to get in bed on time (for my own sanity's sake) and I have other random church and personal obligations to balance...the list goes on.

This is life AND it is all good, despite being overwhelming at times. I just need to remember to let this be an experience that transforms me into a better, newer and improves version of myself instead of just thinking of it being a daunting transition, one that passes, one that leaves me in fear of the next, and has little to no effect on me.