Paisley is one month old today. Hmmm, I love babies. I love the newborn stage and I just want to dwell here in this time for a good, long while. I sit here writing, knowing I probably won't post this tonight but it is 11:19--the exact time that she was born. I am still so in awe that she is really here. It is like being in the hazy quiet time between sleep and awake. I am starting to awake to my life with her in it. It is delicious. I love it. I ADORE having four daughters. It makes me want to have five.
The juxtaposition to that is that I also feel like I am in birthing limbo. I wonder what will come next. Is there is another Creamy Baby Hunt to come? How will that birth be? Will I be able to do it? I feel like I am a bit of an enigma. A birth enigma. Either that or I am extremely well rounded when it comes to birthing. Where do I fit? What do I do? I do it all, I suppose. However, with all that comes uncertainty.
What I do know is that I am ok. I am really good, in fact. Both in body and spirit. I can smile in the face of uncertainty, be positive and I know that the Lord sends us angels, both seen and unseen, when we need them. So, limbo or not, I am grateful for said angels and the Spirit who guide me thru.
4 comments:
You are very lucky! I can't deny that I am envious...
Isn't it amazing that after having a baby, the mind wonders about the next so soon? I think it is our little new born's spirit wondering about the friends they left behind and how we somehow feel that during that time when we are still one with them in so many ways. You are wonderful and I think your birthing stories are great teaching opportunites - a vbac will be too! some day ;)
One thing that faith gives you is the opportunity to be lead, and the details work themselves out :) Glad that you are enjoying your lovies.
boy do you have a way of writing! congrats on the newest! 4 girls! wow! you and my brother should keep in touch! they have 5 boys! oldest one 6! :)
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