Beyond Expections: Reflections on the Birth

Hi there! I won't be on much at all over the course of the next week at all but since I got to come downstairs tonight to watch Biggest Loser, I wanted to get on and give a quick update on us. We are doing sensationally. Paisley seems to find this world agreeable to her. We all are finding her incredibly agreeable. Can you believe it has been a week since she was born? I can't. I find it very surreal to look back and remember what was happening at this very time only 7 days ago.

I should get around to writing the actual birth story soon but let me just say that there was so much peace among all the activity. There was never a moment where I felt fear, worry or sadness. I was initially concerned to hear that first "Oh Tisha, I am so sorry" comment because...I am not. At all. I can't even begin to know where to go back and find some regret to unearth. I think alot of people had their hopes high for my birth because I had progressed so far at the outset. They expected such a fast birth and those expectations were definitely settled on sandy foundation.

Ever since Olivia was born, I have always had a thought that my 4th birth might end in a c-section. I think that played a great role in my mindset in all this. There was no hard and fast reason as to why she needed to come via c-section. My doc says that when there is no reason they blame the placenta. But even still, it looked really healthy despite its maturity. There was no cord entanglement or prolaspe at all. My doc was surprised when she came out and said," You so could have pushed this girl out."

Olivia was 8lbs and 2 oz too. My gut is that my placenta just wasn't supplying sufficient oxygen to Paisley at the very end when the cx were so strong and close together. Thus the drop in her heart tones during contractions. There was a bit of my cervix left that wouldn't allow me to push Paisley's head down enough to hold it back. I think Paisley was enjoying her pre-earth life so much and wouldn't even be pushed into this life. She had to be lifted out as my sister-in-law says.

Many people say that all that matters is a healthy mom and baby. I don't buy that completely. For me, it is the experience that comes with getting that healthy mom and baby. Fantastic birth experiences can be had whether things go according to plan or not. The Lord drops bits of joy along the way for each of us. I am really satisfied with how things played out. My doc was SUPERB. He gave me my placenta w/o batting an eyelid. He wants to work with me in the future and told me to call him when he can recommend me to his patients as a doula.

I can't believe I did it. There were so many times that ppl would tell me how well I was doing and I would think I was only moments away from losing my peace. But then I would commit myself again to resting entirely and recharge by soaking in the stillness when the last cx was over. I got into a rhythm of smiling to greet each cx, breathe in slowly and deeply twice while repeating my Hypnobabies cues and let my subconscious birth while my conscious took a backseat.

The c-section was the best and right decision for us. It was surprisingly peaceful. The people in the OR were so gentle and kind to me. They cried with me as I cried tears of excitement and joy when I first saw my Paisley pie. They gave me what I wanted. They gave me things that I forgot I wanted. My doc told me that he'd make sure to do the best incision for a successful VBAC.

They chatted with me after the surgery as if we'd known each other for longer than the hour since we first crossed paths. I remember one of the nurses saying that she looked perfect and confirmed the fact that they wouldn't have to keep her in the nursery long at all. She looked in my eyes and said," You want her as soon as possible don't you?" I told her I did and she got her to me as fast as she could. It was good ya'll. It wasn't what I planned but heck I got out of some pushing (you all know how it's my least fave part) and the pushing that I did do at home taught me that even though it may not be my favorite that I can do hard things and still feel peace.

I am recovering well. Enjoying the down time. Feeling upbeat and positive. Moving around really well and Sam is officially the coolest because he singlehandedly prepared and encapsulated my placenta. Paisley did want me as a mom afterall so I am feeling quite relieved. She is scrumptious, low key and pleasant. She gave me some sweet smiles today. Ok, this ended up not being so quick. This time last week, I was just meeting my doc and he was doing everything he could to prevent a c-section when I had already moved onto the next option. I feel so blessed.

I've been out of bed for 3 hrs now and I miss it. Miss Paisley and I will return after we've enjoyed the longest babymoon we can manage for ourselves.

Her stats:

Born: 3/2/10
Weight: 8lbs 2 oz
Length: 20 inches

She has lots of dark hair and looks mostly like Maia but is all herself as well.


It's 11:19 exactly. Happy one week birthday, my Paisley!!