Beyond Expectations: Day 1

I honestly am a bit too tired to write but I have so many thoughts swirling thru my head that getting them out will be the best form of therapy beyond, a treat and nap. Both of which will happen after I am done typing.

Yesterday was my "guess date" or my estimated due date. I have been here before. Olivia and Maia came 7 days past their guess dates. Michaela came 5 days before--imagine my surprise.

I enjoy being pregnant and so the past three experiences have been very good ones. This one hasn't been any different. My body has been very good to me during this pregnancy and I love it for that. However, it seems that the majority of society does not want you to be at peace with happily waiting on your baby to come. But if I can be patient, can't they?

I mean, I am the one whose belly has not only outgrown driving the family car (that was weeks ago) but the family minivan. Not them. Paisley seems to like kicking the steering wheel. She seems pleasant enough. Let's all follow her example. No, I didn't mean kick the steering wheel.

Today I find myself tired. Isn't it ironic that being pregnant and having children aren't compatible? Today has been one of those Mommy Murphy days where the inevitable leaky poops, peanut butter smears, children who are slow to listen and obey and numerous spilled cups all collide with a mother's resolve to be patient, pleasant and kind all the while being hammered with whacked out pregnancy hormones and a fatigued body that can only move so fast.

During lunch, I was barely holding it together. Michaela was threatening to blast us with her cries for my not getting her Ovaltine fast enough, I was still calming down from a run in with a slow to obey child. wiping up more elusive peanut butter smears and I started to say to myself, "I am becoming smarter and stronger with each step, I take. Perfect or not." Over and over and over and over and over again. Then I just started to cry.

The girls asked me why I was crying. I told them that being a mom was really hard sometimes. Olivia and Maia looked at me, startled and then both said, "We need to pray." Maia then began to say one of her marvelously sensitive prayers. I folded my arms and just sank into the peace that comes with praying and knowing without a doubt that someone IS listening.

After the prayer, they both imparted me with some advice. Olivia said," Mom, sometimes the hardest things are not the easiest but they are always worth it." Maia then said," Yeah and remember you always have your daughters, we are here for you." Then she said," And remember, you are taller than we are." Enter the comic relief.

Today, I am going to let myself be tired, cry, and still remember that I am still alright and happily waiting this kid out. I have to remember that "I am becoming smarter and stronger with each step I take. Perfect or not." With any luck, I haven't been too emotional to make a point. If I did miss the "making a point" mark, I will try to make one tomorrow.

Oh and by the way, Happy Fat Tuesday! Laissez les bons temps rouler!